


Perhaps in time apologies can gain meaning.

by orphan_account



Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Gen, Potential Spoilers, negotiating lilith mess but in a more messed up way
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-17
Updated: 2020-01-17
Packaged: 2021-02-25 04:48:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22290262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: You are not Lilith. Belphegor should know better than anyone just how removed you are from Lilith.
Kudos: 99





	Perhaps in time apologies can gain meaning.

**Author's Note:**

> This content can be very upsetting.

Lucifer moved away from you to establish an appropriate distance between the two of you. It was hard to mistake those steps for someone else’s. Beelzebub was coming down for his late-night snack. You quickly wiped your face from any reminder of tears. You put on a calm smile on your face. Lucifer frowned.

Beelzebub walked into the kitchen without regarding you or Lucifer with a surprised expression. It was the opposite; he was pleased to see you both here. A wide and happy smile adorned his face. A smile of a happy-go-lucky man. He didn’t say anything. You were too lost in your newfound relief to search for any words. Lucifer acknowledged Beel’s presence with a nod of his head. He decided to make another pot of tea. Whether you were invited to stay for that one was up in the air.

Beel found something in the fridge and hummed with satisfaction. The door of the fridge was enthusiastically closed shut.

“Beel,” Lucifer gently scolded. The Avatar of Gluttony offered an apologetic smile. His expression changed the moment his eyes found you still standing in the kitchen. The moment Lucifer moved away from you and started to act as if nothing happened was the moment your sense of peace started to slip away. It was completely gone now. Yet you didn’t dare to leave or even move a muscle. That sense of peace…

With a plate of some Devildom food, Beelzebub started to move towards you. He managed to hungrily bite down on some sort of monstrous burger too. You assumed he was just going to pass you by and go back to his room with the food. _The tea!_

“Beel, wait,” you said without any emotion and looked down the floor. The broken porcelain cup and cold tea on the floor. You could still recall the sound of it hitting the floor. Such careful yet broken pieces of pure white. They didn’t belong here; they didn’t have to be broken.

“It’s just a cup.” Lucifer was quick to react to your words. Beelzebub stopped in his tracks and looked at his feet that were mere centimeters away from the puddle of cold tea. “It’s my fault, really, don’t worry about it,” Lucifer added measuredly. You frowned at his words of taking the blame and saving you. It felt pathetic how he felt you needed to be protected and guided and helped all the time. It was just a broken cup! You could pick up the pieces. You could wipe away the spill.

“Here,” the Avatar of Gluttony said with a wide smile as he offered you a plate. You had never felt such an acute sense of abandonment. His eyes were looking at you yet never seeing you. Whatever food it was, you didn’t know the name. But it didn’t look…. It simply didn’t look for a human to eat. The color was wrong. It wasn’t disgusting. Just wrong. Like the plastic fruits in a bowl for decoration. You couldn’t identify what it smelled like or if it had a smell at all. You couldn’t fathom why Beel offered you this dish. It’s not like you have eaten much of the Devildom food or even the food from the Celestial Realm. Unless, of course, it was connected to Lilith.

Lucifer decided to throw a rope to you, and you will take it. You didn’t have the heart to tell Beelzebub that you didn’t like how it looked like. You didn’t have any energy to question why he offered you this dish. Beelzebub was least acquainted with humans. Levi learned about humans through anime, Satan and Lucifer were — occasionally insufferable — know-it-alls. Mammon knew of humans through his greedy endeavors and pacts with witches. Asmo… he knew about humans some very personal details. Belphegor used to be fascinated with humans. But Beelzebub was a slightly more difficult case.

A sad smile on your face. Meek backward steps. Your eyes never meet Beel’s. As a mouse was avoiding a cat, you cowardly turned around and ran away from the kitchen. Lucifer said they needed time. Lucifer said they would soon realize you were not Lilith. There were no tears left to cry. Not today, at least.

* * *

Mammon came to apologize on his own. You doubted Lucifer had given him a hint as to what had been making you so glum lately. He apologized in his own manner, but it was sincere at least. Mammon was realistic about your friendship and the whole situation. Then came Satan. Given time, he had realized how similar your situations were. He was born out of Lucifer’s wrath and was often compared to him. He had lived his life opposing that. Maybe you were descending from Lilith, yet it didn’t mean you were just like her. While both were genuine in their penance, it didn’t miraculously fix everything that was wrong.

You wanted to say you were sorry too out of sheer hypocrisy and desire to fix things fast. You bit your tongue knowing you had nothing to apologize for this time. You were not sorry for not being Lilith.

Perhaps rationally they were willing to acknowledge you were just a human you that came to know, you had heard that smallest of pauses in their speech before calling your name. You continued to see that glimmer of hope behind their eyes. You didn’t know what they were hoping for. And even if you did, you doubted you could fulfill them. It was comedically human of them to stand at the edge of your relationship and desperately try to understand each other. You could only imagine what they were going through, what were they thinking about and how they felt about you. They knew little of your pain too. And as the three of you stood at the edge of the abyss, neither decided to let go and jump. The hope you were closer to Lilith than it seemed was too precious to give up so soon. The hope they could do so for you was selfish and awfully human.

* * *

You knocked on the door out of basic human politeness. Angering the Avatar of Sloth would be foolhardy. He hated you with every fiber of his demonic being. You were a stupid, naïve, weak, lowly human in his eye and not even a tool to achieve freedom. You were a pitiable option used out of desperation and hatred. Using you was below him. Ha hated having to trick you for his gain.

No answer came from the other side of the door. You looked at Mammon and Satan who were standing a little further down the hall. They were not allowed to come with but had to interfere if Belphegor tried to kill you again. Taking a deep breath, you pushed the door handle and let yourself in.

The Avatar of Sloth was sitting on a bed and hugging a pillow. He had a lazy smile on his face. It wasn’t awfully happy, but it was one of contentment. You feared he had found a semblance of peace with the thought of having his sister back. Because you came here to eat away at such hope.

“It’s not like you to knock on my door, Lil—”

“Am not,” you spoke sternly. Your voice betrayed little of your fear because you had yet to be scared of him. Sitting on the bed so leisurely and hugging a pillow made him look harmless. You were not deceived by his lazy appearance; you knew how dangerously burning his ire could be. “I am not Lilith, Belphegor. I will never be. You know it better than anyone.”

“What do you mean?” his voice gave in to his growing irritation with you. Instinctively, your body pressed against the door. Cold surface sending shivers down your spine. At least it wasn’t fear. Not yet.

“You know how humans work, Belphegor,” you said hushly, pleadingly. “Celestial War happened a very long time ago in human terms.”

“You helped me,” he spoke with accusation. “You helped me get out. You did it. You could do it because your agreement was enough to bypass Lucifer’s—"

“I’m glad it worked out,” you snapped. Regret filled you in an instant as you saw how angry Belphegor was getting. He stood up, and the pillow was tossed on the bed. But you couldn’t show your fear to him. You had to stand your ground. “But I am not Lilith.” You heard him scoff at your words, dismissing them as empty and spoken out of stubbornness.

“Look at me!” you demanded. “Do I look like her? Do I speak like her?” Your voice was rising despite your fear of Belphegor’s wrath. Your own ire was blinding and running hot in your veins. “I even knocked on your door!”

“Why did you help me then?” he shouted back at you. It strange how his voice sounded with fury and hurt. As if it pained him that you had helped him. As if the idea of you helping him out of your human beliefs pained him beyond comprehension.

“Because we humans believe in personal freedom,” you spoke lowly. “Because we believe in giving chances. Because I didn’t want to see Beel in pain. Because I couldn’t sleep at night knowing I could do something to help but refused to.” Your gaze was downcast. Your instincts were screaming at you to look at the youngest of the Seven out of simple survivalism. But you couldn’t direct your gaze at him as the tears started to blur your vision. _We’d been screaming so loud it’s surprising Mammon and Satan didn’t break down the door._

Horrible silence fell. It was so petrifying to hear yourself breathe erratically, feel yourself choke on a sob and know that Belphegor might have heard it too.

“I’m sorry,” your heard coming from him. It was strained and forced to come out. It’s not that it sounded disingenuous, but you held no doubt Belphegor never wanted to say those words to you. And what could you say to him? That it was alright? That you held no grudge? All was forgiven? He killed you. He mostly likely planned on killing you the moment he got out.

“I’m not an idiot,” he said with spite. You didn’t know if it was directed at you. “I can see how my brothers have changed. It wasn’t that long since my imprisonment and yet…I can see Mammon learning to admit he can care about things other than money. I can see Levi getting out of his shell. And Asmo forming a genuine connection with someone after so long. Satan dropping all his fake smiles. Most importantly, I can feel how happy Beel is.”

You choked on a sob, your hand pressing against your mouth to stifle the sound. As if you, a mere human, could trick a demon with such a feeble attempt.

“I won’t harm you,” Belphegor added in his usual distant and cold manner. “Even if you cry.”

“T-thanks?” you choked out and started to wipe away your tears. It was the most pathetic attempt to help the atmosphere. It was even more pathetic that you did start to cry and shiver because of stress.

“I killed you, apparently,” the Avatar of Sloth started to talk again. You managed to look him in the eye just so you could see if he was wholeheartedly sorry. “And I’m sorry.”

“You know,” your laughter died before it could be heard, “we humans have a messy history. Really messy. But we learn from it. I know we should not and cannot keep on hating. I can forgive you now —”

Belphegor averted his eyes. “I’m sorry I took pleasure in it,” he added lowly, guilty.

“Yeah,” you found yourself mindlessly agreeing with his words as if was the most normal things in the world to agree to, “yeah, I guess you did.” You barely offered a nod before your hand found a handle and pressed on it forcefully. The moment you stood outside the room, Mammon pulled you into a quick hug.

“We couldn’t hear anything, are you alright?” Satan asked, concerned.

“Yes,” you lied. “No. But maybe in time.”

**Author's Note:**

> I don't play the game myself but since so many of you found it cathartic... Here's another one but less cathartic. Perhaps one more to make it right, right? Third time's the charm.


End file.
